Episode Transcript
[00:00:07] Speaker A: Hello there, fellow humans.
[00:00:09] Speaker B: Thanks for tuning in today. I'm Jaska Jost and this is interview with you
today. Not yet with you today with.
[00:00:23] Speaker A: Eileen von Knobelsdorf.
[00:00:28] Speaker B: Eileen is my third guest in this mini series about infertility journeys. Today
we'll delve into her personal story, future plans, and her remarkable ability to transform
challenges into triumphs. In Czech, we have an idiom that perfectly captures her spirit. She is
able to weave a whip out of sheet.
While this might sound crude, it beautifully illustrates her her neck for turning seemingly
impossible and horrid situations into success and metaphorical flowering garden. Join us to hear
how Eileen consistently makes the best out of less than ideal circumstances. Tune in and be
inspired. Let's go.
[00:01:23] Speaker A: Hello and welcome to my podcast. This is the third episode of my mini
series about fertility journeys. And today I have Eileen von Knobelsdorf, a beautiful, lovely lady.
Thank you very much, Eileen, for coming. She's 41, she's married, and now she has two
children. Funnily enough, one of them is with us in the studio with her in the background. Land
behind you. Moving. It's really adorable. So Eileen has two children, five and one years old. And
she, as we hear in her story, used this unfortunate journey, or the journey that she has to go
through for the best. And she used to be a yoga teacher, and she became a fertility yoga teacher
and pre natal and postnatal. Can you tell us more about what you do?
[00:02:23] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:02:24] Speaker D: So, hello, everyone, and thank you, Jaska, for the introduction and for
making this happen.
[00:02:30] Speaker C: Yeah, I will tell you a little more.
[00:02:32] Speaker D: Basically, I was already yoga teacher, but when I started to try with my
husband for baby number two, we started having problems. So I actually had recurrent
miscarriages and I. And I was just completely lost, I would say disconnected from my body, like
disappointed from my body. And I desperately was in need of something to help me. And this is
how I actually discovered that there was fertility yoga because I didn't even know that it existed
before. And so I started practicing it for myself.
And it helped me a lot. It helped me to kind of find peace again with my body and with what
happened. It was grounding, healing. And I kind of like to decide. Describe it like this. Yeah,
healing balsam. You know, as if you would just like, put this beautiful cream on your body and
mine. And it was just heal all the wounds that have to be, to be healed. Helped me to reconnect
also with my body and myself. And so I then got really passionate about it and wanted to learn
more about it and become certified that I can also share it with other women.
[00:03:43] Speaker A: Yeah, I find it, like, when you talk about it, I feel like it's a way to sort of
give gratitude to your body, like, to get acquainted with it and, like, consider it a friend and try to
be grateful for whatever the body did for you already. And I think that this is a good way to start
when you have this sort of issues. But you say that the first pregnancy was with no problem.
[00:04:13] Speaker D: Exactly. So, yeah, I didn't. Sorry, I forgot to mention that. So, yeah, my
first baby, I had it without any issues. And so, you know, I think I was very naive also because
my mom, she gave birth to nine children. So I thought I come from this really fertile family and
fertile background, and I realized that I was extremely naive. I had no idea. And also because
with the first one, it worked easily.
So I was taken by surprise when then with the second one, it didn't work out like that.
[00:04:47] Speaker A: Yeah. For me, I had actually the same story. My first pregnancy was really
easy breezy, no problems whatsoever. And then, so I thought, just like you, I mean. Yeah, so
then let's have another one. And then I also had the same story. I miscarried twice, but between
I don't know how many. How many times you had the issue.
[00:05:10] Speaker D: Yeah, I had five miscarriages.
[00:05:15] Speaker A: I'm tempted to say you win, but.
[00:05:17] Speaker B: Of course you don't.
[00:05:18] Speaker A: You miscarried five times.
But this was after a natural pregnancy. Or did you also go through the infertility treatment
already?
[00:05:29] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:05:29] Speaker D: So actually, first we tried naturally, and actually I had to go through three
miscarriages. And actually, even after three miscarriages, my back then gynecologist didn't, you
know, she said, oh, well, you know, just keep trying. And it may be the stress. And she didn't
really want to look into it.
So I was then third. So when I started trying for the second one, I was 38, 37 38. And so I then
started my own investigations because I just, you know, I didn't want to have more miscarriages
and I just didn't agree with my, with my gynecologist. And also, you know, you have a certain
age, so you start having a little bit of the time pressure, the biological clock that is ticking. And so
the more I investigated and started to do some tests, I found out, you know, little by little that
there were a more and more issues. Then I started actually being followed by a fertility specialist
not trying yet with IVF. So, you know, like medical cycle with medication and where they track
the cycle and tell you exactly when you should have intercourse and so on. So there I had
another two miscarriages like that, and these were still trying naturally without so no IUI or no
IVF, but medically followed already, so under medical treatment, with basically the same
procedure, almost just still trying naturally, and so timed intercourse, and also was doing
injections and taking medication. So there I had another two miscarriages. And then eventually I
decided to do the IVF.
[00:07:26] Speaker A: Okay. And then for the IVF, how did it work?
[00:07:32] Speaker D: So, actually, it's interesting, because most doctors told me that I have no
chances with IVF and that it wouldn't work for me because, amongst others, I had extremely low
ovarian reserve, and there were some other issues. So they told me that the chances would be
something below 5% that it would work out.
And many told me the only chance would be with over donation, or I should keep trying naturally,
which for me was not an option anymore, because I didn't want to keep on having miscarriages.
And so the doctor I was followed back then, I was very persistent, and I said no. I just felt it was
kind of a gut feeling, and I was like, no, I think this has a chance, and I want to give it a go. And
then she said, okay.
And then, you know, the miracle happened.
[00:08:33] Speaker A: So it was after the first transfer.
[00:08:35] Speaker D: So I had three egg retrievals, but so I did the IVF in Spain. I didn't do it in
Luxembourg because I needed the PGT testing, which is the pre genetic testing of the embryo.
They don't offer this in Luxembourg, nor in Germany, unless there is a very specific case. And so
I did three egg retrievals because I wanted to do some egg pooling, knowing that I have
extremely low variant reserve and that I would have to test these embryos. And the chances that
I would get a viable embryo was pretty low. So I wanted to do as many egg retrievers as
possible and then only do the transfer, also because of my age, so that then, you know, if the
transfer wouldn't work out. And so I did three egg retrievals, but it's only the second egg retrieval
who actually gave me two viable embryos.
[00:09:35] Speaker C: So that means that they were tested.
[00:09:37] Speaker D: And they were oiploids, and then I had one transfer that worked. So I was
very lucky.
[00:09:43] Speaker A: That's great. So now he can disturb our podcast recording. That's
fantastic.
[00:09:52] Speaker D: He's alive and very healthy.
[00:09:55] Speaker A: Yeah. So congratulations, because he's still quite young, right? One year
old, yes.
How about traveling to Spain? Because I know you're not the only one here in Luxembourg who
does kind of infertility traveling, because I know that many ladies do it for one reason or another.
I guess that it makes it a little bit more complicated then, although. Because I also know that it
has to be, like, very precise, the retrieval. So how does this work?
[00:10:25] Speaker D: Yeah, so I would say everything depends. It definitely is one. It could be
another stress factor because you have the logistics and you can't really plan so much ahead
because, as you mentioned, everything is depending on, you know, how the stimulation is going.
And then for transfer, how is the uterine lining getting ready? So you kind of know only last
minute when you have to be in Spain. And then that means you have to take the flight tickets
maybe two, three days in advance. And that's when you're lucky and book, you know, hotel or
whatsoever. So that can add some stress. However, for me, even looking retrospectively,
obviously, I've got my baby, so I couldn't be more happy. But I would do it again and.
[00:11:17] Speaker C: Again because Spain is just so much.
[00:11:19] Speaker D: Better, so much more advanced, so much more professional.
So for that alone, but also because for us, it was this beautiful break as a family. So my husband
would always come and my son, who was back then three years old, and it was just a beautiful
escape, you know, from our daily routine, from problems, because, as we all know, when we go
through fertility problems, it's so extremely draining and exhausting for ourselves, but also, I
think, for the couple and for the family, and if we already have a child, so secondary infertility
brings that we, I think, also have a lot of bad conscience towards that existing child, because we
are maybe.
[00:11:59] Speaker C: Not that present or that full of.
[00:12:02] Speaker D: Energy or that happy as we maybe want to be for that child. And so our
time in Spain was just pure happy moments. So I don't remember it at all as, oh, I went there for
medical.
[00:12:14] Speaker C: Treatments, but instead, it's this really happy family moments.
[00:12:21] Speaker A: Yeah.
So you always, like, stay there a little bit longer or afterwards to chill.
[00:12:29] Speaker D: We always try to have at least.
[00:12:31] Speaker C: Let'S say, one day before, maybe one day after, if we could make it
happen.
[00:12:37] Speaker D: Also, some of the retrievals, they happened.
[00:12:40] Speaker C: In the middle of COVID.
[00:12:43] Speaker A: You won the jackpot there.
[00:12:45] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:12:45] Speaker D: So it made things more complicated on one hand, but on the other hand.
[00:12:49] Speaker C: It was a blessing in disguise because.
[00:12:51] Speaker A: The process as such is very stressful. And I think that may be a very good
solution, that you take it as.
[00:13:02] Speaker B: As little holidays.
[00:13:04] Speaker A: You said that you would do it again and again, and now I happen to know
that you also will, because Eileen just told me a minute ago that they will go for baby number
three.
So that's great. I mean, this is really fantastic. I like it for you.
But. So you will go again to Spain?
[00:13:28] Speaker D: Yes, exactly.
[00:13:29] Speaker C: So I will go back to that same clinic with the same doctor because I really
trust her.
[00:13:36] Speaker D: She's absolutely amazing. And I also really like the clinic.
And I have still one frozen embryo. So from that second egg retrieval where I had those two
miracle eggs, even my doctor, she couldn't really believe it.
[00:13:53] Speaker C: That I got these two golden eggs.
[00:13:55] Speaker D: And so, yeah, this beautiful embryo is waiting there, implanted.
[00:14:01] Speaker C: And give a little sister or brother.
[00:14:04] Speaker D: To my two other ones.
[00:14:06] Speaker A: Okay. I feel you kind of hope for a girl.
[00:14:10] Speaker C: Yes.
We have four boys with the two.
[00:14:14] Speaker D: Older ones of my husband, so a.
[00:14:16] Speaker C: Girl would be very much appreciated.
[00:14:18] Speaker D: But then, you know, for me, all.
[00:14:20] Speaker C: That matters is that it's a healthy baby.
[00:14:22] Speaker D: And even if it's a boy, I'll be extremely.
Yeah.
[00:14:27] Speaker C: Grateful and happy.
[00:14:29] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. That's really great. Back to your yoga teaching.
And I first will say that all the contacts for your normal yoga and fertility yoga and prenatal and
postnatal yoga will be then in the description of the episode.
But I want to say, because you told me also, and I found it very interesting that in your classes,
some ladies who are doing the fertility yoga are very happy to have also later pregnant ladies
there. And some of them don't. Is that right?
[00:15:07] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:15:07] Speaker D: So, however, I need to specify that maybe. So basically, fertility yoga, I
want this to be a class.
[00:15:15] Speaker C: So if someone starts coming to fertility yoga and then ends up being
pregnant, I always tell them that fertility yoga is also there for them, especially in their first
trimester. So it's not just, of course, some random pregnant woman that would come to the
fertility yoga, but it's someone that came regularly to fertility yoga then finally gets pregnant. And
we know that after trying for longer periods of times, or maybe we had a really tough case, we
live a pregnancy in a very different way. It's not just we are pregnant and everything is fine, but
then starts, you know, that fear of the first trimester and so on and so on. And so I want them to
still have that support, especially if maybe they don't feel yet ready to go to a prenatal class also
that time, usually it's not official yet, and I think they just need a different kind of supports from
others that understand that we don't live, that it's not just, oh, I'm pregnant and I'm happy and
everything is fine. No, we may go through anxiety and stress and fear and not being able really
maybe to enjoy it in that first trimester, not being able maybe to tell others.
So I want the fertility yoga to be that safe space, too. And there, I always also want to make sure
that everyone feels comfortable and safe. So I usually ask my students if it's okay if there is
someone coming and that is pregnant. And I mean, usually, most common, they don't mind
because it's someone from the group, so they know that that person struggles.
And I got some really beautiful feedback from some of them saying, like, I love it, you know, and
I'm so happy for that person, and it's. For me, it's like giving me hope and faith and reminds me
of, you know, that this is. This can happen, too. So basically that it's so important to also have
positive stories, you know, because it's true that if we're only surrounded maybe by women or by
stories where maybe it's not working out or not yet, then it's also important that we have those
beautiful stories of success and of hope. But some, they may not be okay with having someone,
you know, that is pregnant knowingly because they're just too sensitive and I maybe trigger them
too much, depending, you know, what their journey has been like and how sensitive. And it's a
very personal decision, I would say, in how we feel and how we react to it.
[00:17:51] Speaker A: Yeah, I understand. Because it also maybe can be different day to day
because I remember when I had my miscarriages and then I saw somebody pregnant, it felt so,
so sad, and I thought, it's unfair and all this. So I get it. I mean, all the feelings are, of course,
valid. But what I love about it is, again, that you create a community and, as you say, safe space
for people that they are among people who understand. So that's really fantastic. And you said
also that yoga, because you were a yoga teacher already when you started with the infertility
journey, that it was a safe space for you. Right. So what do you think is the most important part
of, like, the mental part of the. Of the journey that people should focus on? First of all, it's a big
one.
Yeah. You're the specialist, the body mind guru. So go ahead, share.
[00:18:55] Speaker C: Yeah, it's a huge and very, very important one. And I think too often it gets
forgotten or underestimated. And I would say that usually, if we are under medical treatment, it's
completely kind of forgotten or just not taken into consideration.
And that's also another reason why, for me, it was so important to start something that gives that
mental and emotional support that we may not get from our doctors and clinics.
But also I think that, for example, we can be so caught up, we can be so caught up in, for
example, in what we're eating, right? So what we're feeding our body.
But I would say that what we're feeding our mind is not just as important. Maybe it's even more
important.
So the mental part, I think, plays a huge role and can have a huge impact as well on the. Our
fertility or on our way, how we handle things and how we feel. And I would say maybe one of the
big ones is the letting go, you know, not wanting to control and not being able to control certain
things. And I think it's kind of a d click when we're able to let go and let go of the timing, what if
and when. And I want to be pregnant by then. And, you know, all the things that go through our
head and through our mind and also that pressure, maybe, of what happens if we don't, if we
don't ever manage to be pregnant and have a child. So I think these are like fears and pressures
that can kind of destroy us mentally and block us, so literally block us. And I think that once
we're able to let go of that, then we're in a much more peaceful state. So that means also that
our body can do its natural job of producing the right hormones, of falling pregnant, having a
healthy pregnancy, and giving birth to a healthy baby.
[00:21:05] Speaker A: We could apply all this also for people who are not trying to have a baby,
it's always good to be chill mentally, but the way to be that way is, is complicated and bumpy
because I think they didn't teach us at school anything like this. But I think yoga is certainly one
of the good ways for the journey to yourself to find out who you are and what's important.
[00:21:30] Speaker C: We all know how annoying it can be when someone tells you, just relax.
It's the hardest part. And the more, actually, we know also that stress is maybe not good for our
fertility and that we should relax. It becomes this vicious circle. And yeah, the idea of yoga, and
specifically fertility yoga, is also to just learn some tools. You know, what can I actually do? What
actually works? What can I apply?
[00:21:55] Speaker A: You know, I love the concept of fertility yoga because it's a community
and at the same time, like a practical help, not only on the physical, but also on the mental level,
which maybe is not so obvious to people. When I was younger, I always thought, yeah, yoga is
an exercise, which it is, but the way I do yoga now is completely different than I did when I was
younger because it's not just physical exercise. This is what the yoga is about. But for me, it
wasn't clear. And I think it's good to make this distinction, that yoga is really very good for your
mind if you are doing it right with the right person. Right?
[00:22:34] Speaker C: Yeah, it's holistic for me, it's very holistic. Many of us, actually, we start
more for physical reasons, let's say. Or we practice maybe more the physical yoga, and then
little by little, you know, we dive a little deeper and then discover all the other parts of yoga, you
know, like the meditation and the breathing and affirmations, mantras and other things.
[00:23:01] Speaker A: So for the baby, number three, can you tell us more about that? What is in
the planning?
[00:23:09] Speaker C: I'm actually planning to take my.
[00:23:13] Speaker D: My audience with me so those who.
[00:23:14] Speaker C: Are curious, they can follow a little bit on my instagram, because I think
it's also very interesting to see for others that maybe are not there yet or that maybe have an
upcoming IVF or are maybe thinking of going abroad and are wondering, you know, how is it and
how to organize this. So now, in preparation, what I had to do is I had to prepare for two months.
I had to prepare the uterus with some specific probiotics. Then I had to do a microbiome test. I
actually just came back yesterday from Spain. So I just did that test and I get the results in about
ten days. And if those results are positive, then the transfer can be planned for probably end of
August.
[00:24:07] Speaker A: So your holidays will be in Spain this year, I'm guessing.
[00:24:11] Speaker C: Actually, we already had planned the holidays, so we are actually in
Spain, but not at the right dates.
[00:24:19] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:24:20] Speaker C: But it's okay. I don't mind to have to fly in one more time for that transfer.
[00:24:26] Speaker A: I wouldn't mind also going to Spain twice per year.
[00:24:28] Speaker C: Right.
[00:24:29] Speaker A: I'm pretty tolerant towards traveling to Spain. I think it's also a great idea
to share the story. I think it will be very helpful for many to see how it works. And also I think it
can give you some support from your friends in the misery. So I will be following you.
[00:24:51] Speaker D: Thank you.
[00:24:53] Speaker A: Keeping my fingers crossed. And I will share also that, as I said, your
Instagram and everything, is there some message you would like to pass on to the listeners
about the journey?
[00:25:04] Speaker D: Yeah, I think that.
[00:25:08] Speaker C: Sometimes it's really important that we reconnect with our intuition and
also kind of inner wisdom and the innate wisdom that we have and that our body has and that
not to forget that we're not a statistics, because so often, you know, we get told these horrible
things from doctors that we are too old, that our ovarian reserve is too low, you know, that our
chances are bad or almost impossible. But if, you know, and if you have that motivation and that
energy to not, you know, to not give up, to remember that we are not a statistic, that there are
exceptions and to keep believing in it, of course there will come a moment, maybe where you
will have decide for your sake, your health sake or family sake, that now it's enough. But as long
as you do have that energy and motivation to continue to. Yeah. To trust, you know, our body is.
[00:26:07] Speaker D: So much stronger and so much more.
[00:26:08] Speaker C: Intelligent and our body can heal itself. So we just need to sometimes
give.
[00:26:14] Speaker D: The body the right tools.
[00:26:16] Speaker A: You said if you feel like you want to stop already, this is also listening to
your intuition. I think it's. I agree with this very much in general, that we are kind of again,
disconnected from the body, disconnecting from who we are. And it's hard to listen then to
ourselves.
[00:26:36] Speaker B: And this is in a voice what.
[00:26:39] Speaker A: You can learn at your yoga classes, right?
[00:26:43] Speaker C: Yes, definitely.
[00:26:44] Speaker D: Because it does help to quiet a.
[00:26:47] Speaker C: Little bit the mind.
[00:26:48] Speaker D: I think that as long as our.
[00:26:49] Speaker C: Mind is overwhelmed and busy and too.
[00:26:54] Speaker D: Many voices and things going on, I think we just can't think clearly also.
So it really helps to calm down your mind and your nervous system so that you can also see
more clearly what it is that you want, maybe.
[00:27:08] Speaker C: And the way you want to go.
[00:27:10] Speaker D: And what's the next step?
[00:27:12] Speaker A: Yes. To listen to yourself in the first place before listening to other stuff.
Okay, that's a great message for the end. Thanks so much. Thanks so very much for coming
and sharing your journey and your plans. So I really hope that in a year or so you will come here
with yet another disturbing human.
[00:27:35] Speaker D: That would be amazing.
[00:27:36] Speaker A: That would be great.
I will keep an eye on you. So thanks so much and hope to hear you in a year at the latest. Then
again, thanks.
[00:27:47] Speaker D: Thank you so much, Jaska, it was a pleasure.
[00:27:50] Speaker A: Thank you.
[00:27:50] Speaker D: Bye bye bye.
[00:27:59] Speaker B: So that went well. Thanks for joining us today in interview with you. I hope
you enjoyed the time as much as we did and that it brought something positive to your day and
to your life. Don't forget to get in touch if you want to be my next guest or if you have anything
else you want to share with me. The contact details are in the description of the episode. There
is a link to a Facebook post where you can share your thoughts.
[00:28:30] Speaker A: And all the contacts.
[00:28:32] Speaker B: Do not hesitate to follow the interview with your Facebook page or me on
Instagram. @jostjaska remember, both Jaska and Jost are spelled with J's. The european quirks,
right?
Anyway, go ahead and follow my social media so that you do not miss anything exciting. I look
forward to hearing from you and to possibly having the next interview with you.
[00:29:37] Speaker E: Some are dropping their guitars, some are trying to fight that time some
will always stay dreaming like you and I I close.
