Episode Transcript
[00:00:07] Speaker A: Hello there, fellow humans. Thanks for tuning in today. I'm Jaska Jost, and this is interview with you today, not yet with you today with Karin Meininger, who, in a way, took my virginity and I hers. You will hear all about it. We will also talk about manifesting motherhood, changing from the inside out, and fixing a broken marriage. A lot to cover. So let's go.
Hello and welcome to my podcast. Today I have a special guest. Her name is Karin Meininger. Welcome, Karin, and thank you very much for coming.
[00:00:57] Speaker B: Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here and for the opportunity, I really appreciate you.
[00:01:03] Speaker A: Thanks. Great. I will first introduce you a little bit. So, Karin is 44. She lives in the United States. And I wanted to say that this is the first time for me when I interview somebody that I never met before. So you are taking my virginity in this sense.
So thank you very much. And I thought you should know.
So she's 44. She has been married for seven years with a husband that she manifested, and we will hear all about that. I cannot wait to hear all this because it's very interesting for me. She has a son who is six years old, and she is a business owner.
And I really love the topic, what she do. She takes care of mompreneurs to find freedom, balance, and growth, to thrive in both business and family life. And last but not least, she has a podcast. I really love the name of the podcast. I think it's brilliant and genius. It's called rise, shine, and redefine.
And I want to hear more about everything that you do and about you. So please talk.
[00:02:28] Speaker B: Oh, I don't know where to begin. So I recently left a nine to 520 year family business, and I was not lit up by it. It was not driving my passion or my joy.
And I was really unfulfilled, even though I was financially comfortable.
And I just kind of had this epiphany one day when I was walking home, I was walking my son home from the park, and he was about two years old, and I had learned a lot about personal growth just throughout the years. And I was thinking, oh, my gosh, what if I could teach my son personal growth now, like, and not have to learn it in my late thirties or forties? And so it just kind of hit me, like, oh, what if I could teach my son how to manifest?
Because I was really into manifestation, and I just came up, it just sparked this idea.
And this was in the middle of the pandemic.
And kind of what happened is my business, my family, business did this massive pivot. We sold fabric, like outdoor fabric. So for upholstery and cushions and umbrellas and boats, and there was a shortage on hospital gowns across everywhere. And so we pivoted and used our outdoor fabric for reusable gowns.
And it was insane. Like, while everyone was, like, home freaking out, I was, like, 12 hours a day working, busy, crazy, psycho, trying to change the world, whatever.
And then it was kind of a one off. It kind of died off. And when that happened, I was like, wow, I really want to do more in this world. I want to. I want to impact. I want to change people's lives, and I want to be able to help them rise, shine, and redefine and just really thrive. And, like, you do that from the inside out.
And so what was happening is I didn't feel good on the inside, even though externally, people would look at my life and be like, oh, you have it all. But I didn't feel that. I didn't feel that at all. And I was like, and I bet you there's a lot of people that feel that, too. They don't. They don't feel confident, and they don't feel good in their skin, and they don't feel worthy. And the self doubt holds them back and the fear holds them back, and they're unable to really move through it and move forward.
So what I did is I quit my job, I sold my house, and I moved to a new city all at the same time.
[00:05:41] Speaker A: And what did your family say when you quit the family business? How did they feel about it? Did they support you?
[00:05:50] Speaker B: Yes and no.
[00:05:53] Speaker A: Okay. But if you say family business, is it your original family or is it your husband's?
[00:05:59] Speaker B: Oh, my apologies. Yeah. So my mom and dad had a business, and my brother and I bought the business from my dad. My mom, we bought the business from them.
My dad passed away a couple of years ago, and I felt I needed to stay in that business to kind of live his legacy.
But then I realized I wasn't living for myself.
And that's when all of this change happened very rapidly. I left. I left town. I left my friends. I left my family. I just was like, it is time to start over, and this is kind of where I am now.
[00:06:47] Speaker A: Okay. And then when you left, then your husband went with you?
[00:06:52] Speaker B: Yeah. So my husband has pretty much been like, the stay at home parenthood, why I work, and why I was figuring out my life. And he might call it a midlife crisis. I like to call it an epiphany. So, you know, there's that.
[00:07:12] Speaker A: Okay. But nevertheless, he supported you when you.
[00:07:15] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, he did. He supported me. At first it was a little bit challenging because we had financial stability, and then I'm like, well, by the way, you're not working, and I'm gonna restart a whole new business, which takes time. So we might be in a place that is a little bit challenging, and it has caused some challenges, for sure, but we are getting to a much better place as what our roles are and where we are. And I can really go deep into that whenever, but that's kind of the premise of it.
[00:08:00] Speaker A: Okay. And so how did you, how did you think about the, you know, the topic of your business, about the helping the mom prayers? Did it come with another epiphany, or it was in the original epiphany?
[00:08:16] Speaker B: No. No. So I pivoted, actually, pretty recently.
So when I was walking home from the park with my son, I actually created a business called mini mindsetters. And it was really for parents to teach their kids personal growth. And that was where I learned a lot. I educated myself a lot on parenting and personal growth and combining those two things.
And what I was realizing in the process of trying to build that business is you can't teach your kid personal growth until you personal grow yourself, and you're their mirror. So I, as I was doing this and thinking about it and trying to reach parents, like, I don't think parents were connecting on it in the way that I needed them to, because they weren't in the place of their own personal growth.
And so I completely changed the way I looked at who I wanted to help. Yeah, I still am here for moms all day, every day. I could tell you how to handle a tantrum, and I can tell you how to emotionally regulate, and. And I can really help you with those things with your kids, but it really comes back to yourself. And as a working mom and also building a business, and I am now a mompreneur, it just really resonated with me on, like, wow, I can help other moms, other mompreneurs or working moms to really manifest from the inside out, and I'm just obsessed with it.
[00:10:11] Speaker A: No, it's really great because it's exactly as you say. First of all, you said, oh, if only I learned how to be mindful. And, you know about the mindset thing when I was a child, when I was two years old, for example, because I had the same thoughts. So if I did the work on myself that I've done.
For me, the biggest trigger was when I had kids. After that, I started, you know, aha, okay, this and that triggers me. And then I thought, but it's not the kids problem that they trigger me. It's not in them. It's myself. And. Exactly. I have to start doing something about it to tend to the inner child, inner children and so on. So that's what I started doing. And then years in, I thought, where could I have been if, you know, I did it when I was a child or a teenager or something? So I think that your business is, like, the original business idea is great, but I'm not surprised that you came to the conclusion that, yeah, we have to start with the adults who didn't get it when they were kids. And so that's awesome. I love the business.
And so at the moment, what is the, you know, the topic that your clients come to you most with?
[00:11:43] Speaker B: It's for a lot of. A lot of my clients is really about confidence and worthiness.
There is a sense of moms, especially, wanting work, life balance and freedom.
And we're doing all the things.
We're super wit. We're superwoman. We're superwoman because, like society says, we have to be like, we have to make. We have to be able to take care of our kids. We have to be able to take care of our partner. We have to be able to do this. We have to show up. We have to be at all the school events. Like, it is extremely overwhelming. And so what happens is we become people pleasers. We procrastinate. We have that self doubt. We don't feel worthy. We don't feel confident. We don't feel good enough. We don't feel all the things that bring us joy. We pretend because how dare us? If we cry in public, we're emotional and dramatic.
So, yeah, I just, like, help women step into their power and knowing who their authentic self is without being afraid of it. And we are afraid to really be true to who we are because of the perception that other people are going to see us.
[00:13:07] Speaker A: And I think the problem often is that we are afraid to be our authentic selves, but more often than not, we don't even know what is the authentic self because it's kind of covered in all the conditioning and what people told us what we should be. And we believe that. Yeah, okay. This is what they want me to be. This is what I'm gonna be, and this is a lot of work. So I'm very happy that you help people to discover this and be the best authentic selves.
And do you have the experience that once women become moms, the life changes a lot, I think, for everybody.
And do you have the experience that after people become moms, that they want to change their life? Very much. Does it happen often in your experience?
[00:14:08] Speaker B: I think everyone is uniquely different and when you become a mom. So my experience of becoming a mom, I can't say is everyone's experience, but I think a lot of times we're trying to find purpose, and kids give us purpose. And what is purpose? Purpose is how we serve, right? We have our passions. Those are things that light us up. And then we have our purpose, and that is how we serve in the world. And when we become a mom, we automatically are now serving.
We're serving a tiny human, and it gives. And I'm not speaking for everyone, and this is moms, dads, whoever, but it a sense of purpose.
And so, yeah, I think priorities change. What matters changes. How you look at the world changes. Like, and it's like, wait, what do, what do I want to do with my life? Do I want to spend my life working for the rest of my life or do I want to keep building connection with my, my children and my family? And, like, what's going to make me feel lit up? And I think two things happen. We, we have the purpose of serving, and then we also lose ourselves because we've been one way and serving in the world one specific way for however many years, for most of your whole life up until that moment. And now it's completely changed. So motherhood is really hard because it's okay. My purpose is to serve, but the way I was serving before is not who I am anymore, because now my purpose is to serve for my children.
And how can I mesh those two worlds? So we get this, like, loss of identity and it becomes really scary.
And now we're superwoman because it's like I'm serving my kids and then I'm trying to, like, serve my husband or partner or, you know, whatever kind of relationship you're in. And then I'm trying to, like, still, like, do things for me, but I don't have time for me. So we get put on the back burner, so the things just shift. And I want to help women come back to, like, all of it. Like, all that balance of you can be a mom and you can still be you.
And so, yes, to answer the question, I do think things do change for moms because there's something about motherhood that, that you can't really put into words, and everyone's experience is different on how they feel love or give love.
But I do believe, like, yeah, there's a huge shift. I know for me, it was like, when I had my son, I didn't want to be in my nine to five family business anymore, selling fabric. It wasn't. It wasn't purposeful for me or my family at that. At that time.
[00:17:29] Speaker A: I've seen this happening a lot, and I kind of wish that somebody would tell me before I had kids, you know? I don't know what is the solution to this, because I thought, you know, maybe women should only decide what they want to do with them for their life after they've had kids, because I think that for many, as you said, until you had kids, you didn't hate whatever you were doing before. But after you had kids, it all changed, you know? And then I think they should teach it at school. They should say, you will change after you have a child. And, like, or dig deep when you're young and find out what is your passions, and then, you know, so then you will be able to catch up once you've had kids.
But what I want to hear now is the story how you manifested your husband.
It sounds really great.
And you said that, I see you as a manifesting expert, and you said, you manifested your husband. I saw your Facebook page, and you had pictures of him there. And I thought, hmm, because he's very handsome. And then you told me that you manifested him. Okay, I think you need to share this story with everybody. So.
[00:18:54] Speaker B: Okay. Okay. So before I met my husband, I had been in what I felt were really unfulfilling relationships.
[00:19:08] Speaker A: And did you feel like that at the time already?
Yes.
[00:19:13] Speaker B: So based, like, going back to, like, inner child stuff. Right? Like, my childhood, I didn't receive the validation from my parents that probably would have made me a different person than I am now. So I was always seeking validation, especially from men. I constantly, like, the way I felt worthy was from men. If, like, I got a guy to like me, it was. It was this, like, oh, okay, now I'm worthy because this guy likes me.
[00:19:49] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah.
[00:19:50] Speaker B: And I was in this pattern of every relationship I got in of, okay, I would, like, get them, but then they break up with me, and then. All right, and then I didn't feel good enough, and it was just this, like, external, like, constant chasing, this external validation.
So what happened is I did this, like, really deep dive, like, back in 2012.
I think it was like my. I had a seven year boyfriend at the time. And we broke up. And I went down the rabbit hole on personal growth and really just learning, like, how to pick up my broken pieces and really start learning how to love myself. And so this is, I think, I don't know when that book, the secret came out, but it was maybe a little bit before that. But I got really into the secret, which is a lot about, like, your beliefs create your reality. So, like, whatever you're, like, program and your subconscious is a movie on the screen. So that's like, kind of what you're gonna create is how. The way. The way you think. So if you're thinking negatively, negatively, negativity is going to keep showing up. If you're more on, like, a thinking positive and, like. And then taking aligned action from the positive mindset and, like, fully accepting where you are now, that aligned action is going to manifest, you know, the movie of your dreams. So with my husband, I had been doing a lot of this personal growth work. I've been. I've been just really, like, learning how to be present, learning gratitude. I really started, like, a really strong gratitude practice and finding gratitude in just the tiniest things, like, even thinking about oxygen, right? It's like, what if there were pockets of bubbles in the air without oxygen and we didn't know where they were and then we just couldn't breathe? It just became so vivid, like, all of these little things that I became grateful for. And I think as I was internally becoming more self compassionate, I started to project that vibrational level out into the world. So with my husband, I was going through, like, a couple more breakups, whatever. And then I reached out to my friend and I was like, hey, let's go to Key west this weekend, which is a city in Florida at the point. They have this, like, crazy fantasy festival during Halloween. So everyone dresses up like body paint. Like, it's a crazy. Like, it's all love, but it's crazy and fun. And we had never been. And I told her, I go, we need to go to Key west this weekend, and we're gonna go to fantasy fest. And I was even like, I will pay for it because we need to go this weekend. And she's like, okay, if you're paying for it, I'm in. So we got our costumes. We're Mario and Luigi from Super Mario brothers because they had an anime theme. And we were driving down. It's about a three hour drive from where I lived in Miami at the time.
And I got in the car with her. We were driving. And I was like, I'm gonna meet my husband tonight. And she was, like, super skeptical, cynical, you know, like, okay. She's like, you don't even have a boyfriend. And I go, I know, but I'm gonna meet my husband tonight. And she was just like, kind of brush it off. Like, okay, Karen, whatever.
So what happened is, you know, we're having fun. There's alcohol, we're at a pool party, whatever, and then we get in our costumes, and we're going down what's called Duvall street, and there's this group of guys, and I'm pretty, like, toasty at the time. And I see my husband, who's.
[00:24:07] Speaker A: He was not your husband yet.
[00:24:09] Speaker B: Was not my husband yet. But I see Justin, and I was feeling very confident that night, and I just went up to him, and I said, you're hot.
Okay? I just said, true.
[00:24:23] Speaker A: Must be told. He is. I saw his pictures, and so I.
[00:24:29] Speaker B: Went up to him, and I just said, you're hot. And we just started chatting, and it was like, there were a couple of his friends there, and I was with my girlfriend and I, and we were just hanging out, and then he got my phone number, and. And we left. Like, that was it. I didn't really think much of it.
[00:24:48] Speaker A: Was he wearing a costume? I need to know.
[00:24:50] Speaker B: Yes, he was wearing a kilt.
[00:24:52] Speaker A: Oh.
[00:24:55] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
[00:24:56] Speaker A: Story is clear. Okay.
[00:24:57] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. I was in a sexy mario costume, and he was in a celt, and so he got my number or whatever, and I really didn't think much about it, like, because with manifesting, it's like, you put the order into the universe, and then it's like Amazon, right? Like, you order a package or. I don't know what you guys have over there. Sorry.
[00:25:26] Speaker A: Yeah, we have Amazon.
[00:25:27] Speaker B: Okay, so you. You. When you put an order into Amazon, you're not, like, calling Amazon after you place the order and say, hey, did you get my order? And then you're not, like, calling the UPS guy or the logistics guy. Hey, when are you going to deliver my package? And then you just know it's going to show up.
[00:25:48] Speaker A: No, I love this metaphor. It's really perfect.
[00:25:52] Speaker B: Yeah.
With manifesting. So with my husband, I just, like, put in the universe, I'm going to meet my husband tonight. And when I met Justin, I wasn't like, oh, there's my husband. Like, not at all, like, not even a little bit. I was just like, oh, some hot guy I met. Okay, cool.
And then my friend and I, we went on our merry way, and then it became, like, super late at night, and he ended up being behind me. They had, like, food trucks, and so we were ordering food at, like, two in the morning, and he, like, ended up behind me. And, of course he, like, grabbed my ass, and I was like, like, ew. And I didn't know it was him, but then I saw it was him, and I was like, okay, less ew.
[00:26:36] Speaker A: Less ew. Yeah.
[00:26:39] Speaker B: And so we just started talking, and then we ended up, like, talking to, like, five in the morning there. We sat on a bench and just ended up talking until, like, five in the morning. And he had just broken up with his girlfriend. And so later he tells me that when he went back to the room, you know, they were being guys and, like, oh, you know, are you gonna. You know what with her? And.
And then his other friend is like, nah, he's gonna come back with a girlfriend. And little did he know, he was coming back with a wife.
[00:27:15] Speaker A: So they manifested it for him as well.
[00:27:20] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, exactly. So here we are. We met in 2014. So we've actually been together for ten years, but we've been married for a little over seven now.
And then we have our six year old, and a lot's happened in the last seven years.
[00:27:40] Speaker A: This is a lovely story, really. Okay. Because, you know, because when you said you manifested your husband, I was imagining. Yeah. That she wrote in her journal every day and, like, you know, sort of all the details, but I love this. Like, you just send the order to the Amazon, and. And there it was delivered there. You didn't even know it was the delivery at the first time you. You saw him, so to say.
[00:28:07] Speaker B: And I think the trick to. To manifesting is, like, you have to believe it's possible.
Like, if you are having a vision board, let's say, and you have all these things on your vision board, like, let's say you have a private jet. Like, that's on my vision board. Right. Like, I want to be able to. I don't want to own a private. I just want to be able to fly private. That. That's kind of a big dream of mine.
[00:28:33] Speaker A: Then fly to Europe. We will meet.
[00:28:35] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:28:37] Speaker A: I'll wait for your private jet. And.
[00:28:41] Speaker B: I'm putting it in the universe, making, like, multiple. Multiple millions of dollars. There we go.
[00:28:46] Speaker A: Me too. Now. Okay. Private jet for Carol.
[00:28:49] Speaker B: But. But it's like, you have. You have to believe it's possible.
So, like, I believe it's possible because I believe in myself and I believe in what I'm capable of to be able to create that dream. I believe it was possible that I could meet my husband in fantasy fest.
If you're trying to manifest things that you don't believe to be true. So, like, let's say you want to manifest more money, right? And you're making, I don't know, let's just say a couple thousand dollars a month. I don't know, whatever it may be.
And you want to make.
But you want to make a million dollars. Okay, yeah, but let's say a year. Like, oh, I want to make a million dollars. A million. What do you guys use? Euros.
[00:29:39] Speaker A: Euros we have.
[00:29:40] Speaker B: Okay, yeah. So, like, a million euros. But you don't believe that's possible. So if you're making €2000 a month and you want to make a million euros a year or so, €24,000 a year, and then you want to make a million, like, that gap is so big that your. Your subconscious isn't going to believe that's possible for you. So. So what I like to do is something called, like, the ladder. So, yeah, okay. What is, like, maybe I can make €10,000 a month.
That's kind of believable, but still a stretch.
And that's how I kind of like to look at manifestation, is you take micro manifestations so that you can have the bigger one, because you have to believe it's possible.
[00:30:35] Speaker A: And what I also think or how it works for me, okay. The manifestation is that you must not hold on to every detail. Like, to say, my.
I have to meet him tomorrow at 02:00 and he has to have a killed, which. Okay, is a good thing, you know? Like, just say, like, universe, I want to meet my husband finally. Let's make it, for example, tomorrow, and, you know, like, give the universe the freedom to arrange it for you the best way possible for you, because sometimes you want things which are not the best for you, while the universe knows.
[00:31:16] Speaker B: The highest good of all. Like, what is the highest good of all? Like, am I gonna.
There's this book my. We read my son, whenever he.
My son's like, a really big sore loser. Like, he hates losing, and, like, I mean, he's. But he can't. Like. Like, even when he loses, he'll be like, no, I won.
[00:31:40] Speaker A: Like, he is just like, he's manifesting it, you know? He's manifesting it.
[00:31:47] Speaker B: No, no, it's just, he's a sore loser. So anyway, now, the thing is, whenever he's a sore loser, we read this book. Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn, and I just look at that is such a valuable lesson for really, anybody who's trying to create a dream life or create something in their life, like, you're gonna fall down, you're gonna fail.
But what did you learn?
Like, what's the takeaway? So that you can get back up on your feet. Right. Like, when a baby is learning in a walk, they fall down. They get back up. They fall down. They get back up. They don't.
[00:32:25] Speaker A: They're not thinking, like, I lost and I give up.
[00:32:29] Speaker B: Yeah. They're not. I give up. Or, like, oh, my God, what did my mom and dad think of me because I fell down when I tried to walk for the first time?
[00:32:37] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:32:38] Speaker B: Like, yeah, we get so in our head about how to move forward or how we're gonna be perceived by other people, but failure is such a huge part of growth.
[00:32:52] Speaker A: Yeah, it's like, basically, this is the way I always tell to my kids. Like, when, like, exactly as you say, failure is basically the only way to learn. Like, and you should be. Then, for example, you go on your bike and you fall because you didn't pay attention. This is how you learn to pay attention next time and be grateful that what happened didn't have any, you know, dramatic consequences. So you learn and you will know next time. And this is how we all learn all the time.
But we, as adults, we were somehow conditioned to see failure as the end of the world, as everybody will think less of us. And, I mean, people tend to. That's the problem. But then the solution is, okay, what do I care what others think about this? This is my way. This is my learning and my growth. So, yeah, that's. That's how I perceive it. But I wanted to ask, since you manifested your handsome husband in a kilt, was everything pink and perfect since then for until today, or did you also have some bumps on your road?
[00:34:08] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Marriage is hard.
Marriage is hard. And, like, a recent bump. So this was so basically by coaching and taking coaching certification programs, I have really learned so much about relationships and fulfillment. So just like a backstory, when we move, we live in St. Augustine, Florida, now. And when we moved here, I am so pressured by society in, like, the man has to take care of the wife or the woman. You know, there's. There's, like, a masculine energy, not to be gender specific, but there's, like, a masculine energy in a relationship most of the time. That is kind of like the.
The person who provides the safety and, you know, provides the finances and.
And that is kind of what I was brought up, right? Like the Disney princess. Like, man comes and sweeps you off your feet.
That's not my husband.
My husband doesn't work. And I was having a really hard time with it. And when we move, when I stopped working nine to five, I had this thought, like, oh, well, now he's gonna work because I'm not working. I can be home with my son and he can work, and he can figure out how to pay the bills, and he can do all that stuff. And I had this just in my head, like, oh, now he's gonna step it up.
And he didn't.
And it was causing a lot of resentment, like, okay, like, you're working out and you're making yourself lovely lunches, and you're doing all this self care while I'm, like, trying to build a business, figure life out, pay all the bills, do all the things right, be superwoman, also be a mom, be a wife.
[00:36:24] Speaker A: All that, everything, right package.
[00:36:28] Speaker B: So the weight on my shoulders was, like, so intensified that I was like, why am I with this guy?
Like, why am I with him? He.
I'm doing everything.
[00:36:44] Speaker A: But did you ask him to find a job, or you just thought it in your.
[00:36:48] Speaker B: I did. I did. I did ask him.
[00:36:51] Speaker A: And he said no.
[00:36:54] Speaker B: He didn't say no. But it was like I constantly had to micromanage it, which is also exhausting.
[00:37:05] Speaker A: Yeah. This is just an extra, extra job for you, right?
[00:37:09] Speaker B: Yes. It just became an extra layer.
And then what happened is, here's the funny thing about relationships. When you change the relationship with yourself, the relationship changes.
I'm going to say that again. When you change the relationship with yourself, the relationship changes.
[00:37:33] Speaker A: Preach, preach, preach.
Exactly. I mean, so spot on. But it's nice in theory, but very hard. I think it took me a long time to really, like, I hear it. I've heard it, but it took time to really understand it from the inside.
[00:37:54] Speaker B: And so I'll unpack it for you for what I did or the way. And this is new. Like, this is, like, in the last, like, two months, like, this is not. It's been like this for a while where I'm just like, more resentment, more aggravation, and resentment is really just envy when you really think about it. It's really like, oh, you gotta go, like, work out and not have to worry about what Bill has to be paid tomorrow. Yeah, I want that too.
Right. So what happens is there's kind of, like, three levels to creating magic and really anything, and it's awareness.
Aware of your patterns, aware of your blocks.
Just noticing, being an observer of your own life, like, being able to take, like, like, a bird's eye view of your movie. The awareness, the main thing is acceptance.
Where when we accept what is, it changes, because there's, there's a statement by Byron Katie, and she says, anytime you argue with reality, you will lose 100% of the time.
You cannot change what already happened.
[00:39:23] Speaker A: Mm hmm.
[00:39:24] Speaker B: It is. It is. But when we can accept what is, so what happened with my husband? As I was accepting, okay, this is what it is. I'm working. My husband's not, okay, I can accept this.
And I started to fully accept on, like, in my mind, in my body, in my heart, in my behavior, in my unconscious. I just, like, fully accepted, like, okay, this is what is. And what happened is I started seeing how much my husband does do, because all I was seeing was what he didn't do.
[00:40:02] Speaker A: Yeah. Didn't they gutif? Yeah.
[00:40:04] Speaker B: And then I started noticing he picks my son up from school every day because I'm on calls and I'm working, and I'm, like, trying to build a business. He does a grocery shopping. He cooks dinner every night. He does the laundry. Like, he cleans the house. These are, like, all things that I was like, oh, my God, if he works, then I have to do those things too.
[00:40:23] Speaker A: Oh, shit.
[00:40:27] Speaker B: And I just started to shift my lens on what he actually is doing. So I started to bring in the gratitude practice of, like, oh, he does those things so I can do what I'm loving and building my business and, like, be fully focused to help other people. And, you know, I'm not worried about my son being home with him. You know, I know some moms, like, are like, oh, he can't take care of my kid for a week, you know, for a day. Sorry.
But for me, it was really just embodying what is.
And now the third step is, like, aligned action. It's like, so when you're coming from a place of acceptance and clean, like, gracious gratitude place and not from this resentful place, you can take action to create the dream life, the dream relationship, the dream job, whatever the dream is, once you accept it, but you can't accept it till you're aware of it, but once you accept it, then you can take the action. So now I show up more fully for my husband because I fully accepted the reality of what it is and how it does actually support me and how it does add value to my life. But I didn't see it because our mind finds what's wrong we're programmed to fix. We want to fix, we want to fix, we want to fix. So I was programmed to just keep finding what he wasn't doing.
But once I, like, learned to accept what is, I could see what he was doing and he didn't do anything different.
He's still the same guy, working out, doing his thing. But I changed from the inside, and our relationship is so much more loving now. I, every single time I drop the sword.
[00:42:34] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, exactly. And it makes you feel better yourself. It's like, and then everything comes from there. It's, this is a lovely, I was making notes here, you know, so I have coaching for free here.
[00:42:48] Speaker B: I will coach you anytime you, I am here for you.
[00:42:53] Speaker A: Yeah, very cool.
I will put all the links in the description of the podcast as we discussed, so anybody can contact you and get the most of your wisdom here. But it's nicely put together. Yes, I've experienced it too. But you made it very nicely structured, which I like very much.
And you talked about gratitude and. Yeah, I also talked about gratitude also on one of my previous episodes, and I also practice it and I find it really life changing. It's really so powerful. And there was something I remembered because we, how I contacted you because we met this training course, and one thing I remembered from that training course, what was when they said, you know, I'm not a big fan of the concentrating on how you say things, on wording, I thought, blah, blah, it doesn't matter, it's important is what you mean. But they said this, you should avoid words like I must and stuff like that, because, and I thought, oh, yeah, and so what should I say?
Either I'm blessed to, or I get to, because in fact, and I found it very powerful because if you say I must, first of all, you actually don't have to do anything because they have the, they had the example, you say, oh, I must take the kids to school. No, you don't have to do it. Maybe you will go to prison. But it's a choice, you still have a choice. So, and if you put it in, yeah, I get to get the kids to school. You first of all get the power back. That, yeah, I get to, I have a choice, I can do it. I may not. And at the same time I get to means, I mean, my kids have a school, I have kids, I have time to take them to school. You know, there's in this little thing, there's so much to be grateful for and that I found that very powerful, and I remember it from that training course.
[00:45:06] Speaker B: So, yeah, I love that mindset hack because it really does. Like, it shows you, too. Like, what are your priorities? Like? Yeah, so let's say you have, like, a laundry list of things to do.
You got to clean the house. You got to buy dinner. You got to do whatever it may be, and then you look at that list, and then you can use, what do I get to do today?
Like, what do I get to do? Because when you have the list, like, that's really, really, really long.
It's really overwhelming, and I'm gonna check the box, girl. Like, give me a list. I want to check those boxes. But sometimes it's too much that we. We freeze.
But I love. I love that. That shift of. I get to. I think it is such a great takeaway of just, like, the next time you have a bunch of stuff to do or the shoulds or the must. I must do. I should do this or I shouldn't do this, but I get to is just. It's like a really. It's like an empowering shift.
[00:46:16] Speaker A: Exactly. Absolutely. And really, then it makes you see how much you really have. You know, instead of just, I must do this with my kids. But I mean, come on. There are people who are waiting to have kids, and maybe they will never have or they lost their kids, God forbid, you know? And so it's something really to be grateful for. So it's good, because I was listening to a podcast yesterday, and you talked about how you noticed the tree in front of your house. Like, that. It has yellow flowers on it, you know, for the first time. And I'm just looking out of the window in front of our house, and we also have a tree there. And really so, so nice. We have a tree. The trees exist. I have eyes to see. I have a house and window in it. You know, it's so many things that you can. It's just about the perception and point of view. Also, I really loved how you said that the resentment actually means envy. I noted this down as well.
[00:47:16] Speaker B: Those are not my words. Those, I believe, are from Brene Brown.
[00:47:22] Speaker A: Okay. Anyways, it's very enlightening.
[00:47:25] Speaker B: I could be quoting that wrong, but, yeah, yeah. Really powerful. Is that when. When you're feeling resentment, it's really.
[00:47:37] Speaker A: It's very something to really think about. Okay. So do you have any special message you would like to still pass on to the world through my podcast?
[00:47:50] Speaker B: Yeah, I think if you want to be better or you want to be a better version of yourself, it really starts with, forgiving yourself. And when you forgive yourself, you can expand. And also, like, we have judgments about other people's behaviors. And when we can. For.
I'm not saying you forgive a behavior, but when you forgive yourself for the judgment of the behavior, you are free.
[00:48:26] Speaker A: Mm hmm.
[00:48:27] Speaker B: You really are free. Like, you can. You can send somebody to jail and still forgive them.
[00:48:34] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:48:35] Speaker B: Right.
[00:48:36] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:48:37] Speaker B: So. So that's my takeaway, is start learning to forgive. Give the judgments that you have about yourself or somebody else's behavior.
And then after you forgive yourself, think of a true. Like, but what's really true?
Like, what is really true?
Like, so there.
This statement comes out of.
I think it's Santa Monica University.
It could be wrong. I learned this, actually, from this lady, Alyssa Nobriga, and she got it from Santa Monica University. And there's a statement that says, I forgive myself for buying into the illusion. And then you fill in whatever that illusion is or whatever you're struggling with, and then you say that the truth is, and then you answer the truth. So for me or anyone listening, a statement could be, I forgive myself for judging myself or buying into the illusion that I'm a bad mom.
The truth is, I'm doing everything I can to provide for my beautiful family, and I'm showing up every single day.
So you forgive yourself for whatever that negative feeling is, and then you counter it with the truth, and it's really powerful.
[00:50:02] Speaker A: That's a very powerful message for the end. Thanks very much. I think that the taking of my virginity here was mine, too.
Our virginity. We took each other's virginity. It was, I would say, very fruitful and painless and will be remembered with a lot of love, at least on my part, for sure. So thanks so much.
[00:50:31] Speaker B: Thank you.
[00:50:32] Speaker A: Thank you. It was wonderful to have met you and have a great. It's for you. It's still morning, right? Because here it's afternoon. As I said, I'm talking to you from the future. This is the magic. Yes.
[00:50:46] Speaker B: And I'm from your past.
[00:50:48] Speaker A: Yeah, my past, and I'm your future. So this is the magic of the Internet. We are grateful for the Internet that allows this to us and also then to the listeners to listen. So thanks again very much, and have a great day. Bye bye.
Thanks.
So that went well. Thanks for joining us today in interview with you. I hope you enjoyed the time as much as we did and that it brought something positive to your day and to your life. Don't forget to get in touch if you want to be my next guest or if you have anything else you want to share with me? The contact details are in the description of the episode. There is a link to a Facebook post where you can share your thoughts and all the contacts. Do not hesitate to follow the interview with your Facebook page or me on Instagram.
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[00:52:43] Speaker C: Wait too soon and the time will win so far some are dropping their guitars some are trying to fight back time some will always stay dreaming like you and I, you and I.
